Endometriosis, poly cystic ovarian syndrome, uterine fibroids, heavy/excessive bleeding, fibro-cystic breast tissue, oh yeah- it's been interesting. It has caused issues during my first pregnancy, more than fifteen years ago. I had several laporoscopies to laser lesions, biopsies of this area, biopsies of that area. Redo the biopsy as it was inconclusive. Try this drug, try that therapy, you gotta lose some weight. Conceive, gain weight, miscarry. Repeat. A few times.
No one ever asked about my history though- yanno, like sexual assault of any kind. Any reason why I would think that I was less than, on a sub-conscious level, in regards to my reproductive system and being a woman.
Once again, my system started reeking havoc. This time, it was excessive bleeding to the point of being anemic and borderline hemorrhaging. Excessive lining and fibroids were the culprits this time. The biopsy came back inconclusive as we needed to rule out Cancer.
See, that C word had several targets for me: ovarian, uterine, endometrial, cervical, and breast. Every time I had another biopsy, I understood that I was dodging bullets.
So when the biopsy needed to be done again, we needed to rule out pre-cancer cells as there were precursors present. We got it back- another bullet dodged. Not ready to go through a hysterectomy, we would go ahead with a procedure that would destroy the lining of my uterus.
Knowing that I needed to get closure on these things from my past, I spent time with myself and these memories. I forgave those involved as well as myself and my destructive behavior that followed suit. I made new promises to myself around self respect and self worth as well as what types of foods that eat to support me.
So this past Wednesday, I went in for an endometrial ablation. The procedure itself went well. Unfortunately, my meds wore off too soon and sent my body into a bit of a state of shock. As soon as I was in communication with my doctor, he had me taken to the ER and made sure that I was well taken care of. After Vicodin, Percocet, and several doses of Dilaudid, the pain was under control, the vomiting had stopped. I was sent home to get some rest. Now the healing begins.
So what kind of changes are in store? Well, for one, is the biggest one that I can change: my food. I am committed to more than 51% of each meal being raw vegan. This does not mean that I am giving up meat or animal products. Just making sure that I have nutrients onboard to support my health.
The next is exercising more. Really, for the simple fact that I can. Coming from a place of gratitude you get more of what you are grateful for. I am grateful that I have my health so that I can get up and move around and do things- so I better move it!
Another is really taking a look at the relationships that I engage in. I am worthy of love that transcends the physical and if that isn't present, no giving up the physical. Oh, and No Crazy Makers allowed. Period.
Our bodies are our god pods- take care of them. Respect them. See, when you enter sacred ground, you don't bring in a Big Mac or all the self destructive behavior that you carry around. You are that sacred ground. Take care of it.
***Thank you to my friends who kept me in their thoughts this week. Vic- thank you for being my driver and not giving me too much grief in my Valium state. Drew- thank you being there through some of the roughest parts Wednesday night.
Here's to remaining cancer free and honoring ourselves!