The last month has been...well...ugly. Not that there was any tragegy that occurred, it was just my own funky head space and working through things. Please note: Funky head space is NOT the head space that you want to be in while working through things. You need clarity, and you need to create and not react.
Let me switch gears for a hot sec. You probably remember my fabulous choco balls from the fabulous team over at SuperNatural Energy Balls, yes? Recap on them, I released weight where other things hadn't worked, I felt uh-MAY-zing, and I had such clarity- mentally and emotionally. Even though I was experiencing these things during a difficult time with separating from my husband, ensuring that I was a support for my children, and getting the biz up and going to a stable walk, I still had doubts. I wanted to see if these little gems had been having a placebo effect on me, or if it had just been the Perfect Storm for them to "work".
So I took one month off. Just as I had taken their 30-day Chocolate Challenge, I was taking a 30-day Un-Challenge.
Here are the physical things that happened: I gained 4lbs and went back to 191, my hands hurt from the arthritis being inflamed, I was retaining water like crazy, my hair became brittle, my skin was looking dull. And none of those are the reason why I wanted to start eating them again! It was the rest of it.
My thinking started getting cloudy...REALLY cloudy. I was having a very difficult time thinking clearly about anything. Emotionally, I was very irritable. I didn't feel like doing anything not only because I was being blase, but because I didn't have the energy. Yanno, my got up and go got up and went. Sluggish, oh yeah. I found myself in a space of reacting and survival mode more often than not.
Now, make no bones about it, I am in a survival mode right now. Due to leaving my corporate position before having ANY infrastructure for my biz set up and then going to a partial income household from a two income household there has been some bleeding occur and I need to figure out a corporate position again FAST to prevent fatal bank hemmoraging now. Like by June 1st. And that is not going to happen if I am simply running around not thinking clearly, reacting to everything, biting off everyone's head, and running a TON of disrespectful head talk in the process! I know that you can completely relate...what to do when your committments and desires are pulling you in so many directions? STOP. BREATHE. STRETCH. EXPERIENCE PLEASURE OF SOME SORT. Then look at your nutrition.
No kidding. If my cells are in survival mode, then it will trigger the rest of me to go there. Think about the last time that you were STAAAARRVING. You could not think straight, you were barking at anyone and everyone, and you were nearly animalistic. So if you are not getting the proper nutrition that you need, what do you think is happening to you at a cellular level?
So here is the game plan. As soon as I was aware that I had gone into reacting mode, I reached out to one of my dearest friends (*note- make sure that you have a wise friend that you respect to go to and act as your counsel.) and I shared with her all of my fears. We shed light on them so that they were not as powerful. Then I breathed. I laid in the floor and stretched like a cat so that I could feel my body and get present. I also saw that my nutrition had been WAY out of whack. I have started back on SuperNatural Energy Balls as of last Friday and I am already feeling better. I can focus much better. Weigh in day is tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. And now I look for, and at, new opportunities. Oh...and of course grab my coach. You need someone to be accountable to when you take on something bigger and are on a deadline.
Now I am not saying that my life went to hell in a handbasket because I stopped eating choco balls. I am saying that because my mind was not clear and focussed, I had a challenging time fielding the curve balls that life was jammin' at me.
Time to play ball! Time to create.