I took on my weight and I ended up taking on everything- ALL of the baggage that I have continued carrying around. Now that I am in the thick of it- no pun intended but it works- all sorts of stuff is popping up and I am wanting to turn to something nurturing, something comfortable, something that will temporarily take me away and let me experience a sense of bliss. Oh Cake- you bitch.
I'm not talking about the run of the mill cake. I want the rich almost flourless thick, rich, sinful, melt in your mouth kind. And then when I think about it on my tongue, my head is instantly filled with the voice of my Inner Bitch clambering in the chambers of my brain.
She comes across as bipolar. One minute she is sweet talking to me and tempting me with how fabulous it will be just melting on my tongue, filling me with a sense of indulgence. And then the next she is going on about how awful I am and what I do and do not deserve. Then we run right back in a full circle to taking on my whole life and not just about this weight and this cake.
So here I am thinking about all of the areas in my life that I am taking head on and not tolerating anymore and wanting to turn to something to comfort me along the way. Knowing that I will feel worse if I turn to food, time for a walk.