Out of nowhere you have urges, craving, oh my god I just have to have a piece of cake. Oh, and an English muffin. Perhaps waffles. WAIT A MINUTE! Where the hell did all of this come from?!There I was- just minding my own business, eating my seven choco balls a day, and a nutritious dinner, with a ton of water. Water is my friend after all. No real cravings to speak of and I am doing f.i.n.e, fine. We went to dinner last night as Friday nights are family pizza nights. I get a salad (sometimes a single slice) and then they enjoy their pizza. Normally we just order in and enjoy a movie or something but last night I suggested going out.
Everything was pleasant enough for the most part. Just a few days before the kids and I move out and still little stress to speak of between me and the husband. After a few minutes of being at the table together all of a sudden I started noticing him doing many of those little annoying habits that I have about him - and swearing to God that he was doing just to annoy me- I now was craving dessert. Like, really craaaaving it.
Now, the funny thing about this was as soon as I declared my desire for dessert, the more he seemed to annoy me. And then the more that he annoyed me, the stronger the desire. Now let's mix in the date on the calendar. Sorry men readers- that's right- it was the day before I was due to start.
So I am now going out of my mind wanting some decadent, rich, luscious slice of heaven as well as pulling every positive tool that I have to manage this frustration with my husband. Now where to get what I want? There is a fabulous bakery that I know of- and it would cost me nearly 900 calories. And then there is this other place- and about the same amount of calories. Shit. As much as I do want that dessert, I still don't want to invest that much to it. Oh, I know! I had seen a recipe for a raw vegan dessert for a coconut 'cream' pie. Umm...no time. I NEED INSTANT GRATIFICATION HERE FOLKS! I get the carbs and nobody gets hurt.
Being committed to maintain my cool in front of the kids, and not do any harm to my husband, I pull into the parking lot of my local grocer and go inside. I go to the fancy bakery case and salivate. No. Not going to the monster calorie splurge. Then I see it. A yellow cake with a salty caramel frosting. PERFECT.
After I get it home, I cut one slice and sit and enjoy it. Every. Single. Bite. I grab a choco ball out of the freezer to chase it down. No clue why I did this exactly but hey. We continued on to enjoy The Princess and the Frog for the rest of the evening and no one got hurt.
Are the carbs an addiction? Perhaps. And I am clear that my commitments to my family and not acting cracked out due to carb addiction, PMS, still detoxing, and marital and business stress outweighed that piece of salty caramel yellow cake last night.
And- today is a new day.
Everything was pleasant enough for the most part. Just a few days before the kids and I move out and still little stress to speak of between me and the husband. After a few minutes of being at the table together all of a sudden I started noticing him doing many of those little annoying habits that I have about him - and swearing to God that he was doing just to annoy me- I now was craving dessert. Like, really craaaaving it.
Now, the funny thing about this was as soon as I declared my desire for dessert, the more he seemed to annoy me. And then the more that he annoyed me, the stronger the desire. Now let's mix in the date on the calendar. Sorry men readers- that's right- it was the day before I was due to start.
So I am now going out of my mind wanting some decadent, rich, luscious slice of heaven as well as pulling every positive tool that I have to manage this frustration with my husband. Now where to get what I want? There is a fabulous bakery that I know of- and it would cost me nearly 900 calories. And then there is this other place- and about the same amount of calories. Shit. As much as I do want that dessert, I still don't want to invest that much to it. Oh, I know! I had seen a recipe for a raw vegan dessert for a coconut 'cream' pie. Umm...no time. I NEED INSTANT GRATIFICATION HERE FOLKS! I get the carbs and nobody gets hurt.
Being committed to maintain my cool in front of the kids, and not do any harm to my husband, I pull into the parking lot of my local grocer and go inside. I go to the fancy bakery case and salivate. No. Not going to the monster calorie splurge. Then I see it. A yellow cake with a salty caramel frosting. PERFECT.
After I get it home, I cut one slice and sit and enjoy it. Every. Single. Bite. I grab a choco ball out of the freezer to chase it down. No clue why I did this exactly but hey. We continued on to enjoy The Princess and the Frog for the rest of the evening and no one got hurt.
Are the carbs an addiction? Perhaps. And I am clear that my commitments to my family and not acting cracked out due to carb addiction, PMS, still detoxing, and marital and business stress outweighed that piece of salty caramel yellow cake last night.
And- today is a new day.
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