If you have been following me for any length of time, you know that I have had this battle back and forth with my weight. I'd lose some, gain some. Lose some, gain some. After a great success of losing over 30 lbs, I refocused on other things and the weight began to creep back on. I am sure that several of you reading this just related to that all too well!
Back in January I restarted this blog. I was right back where I had originally started two years prior- exactly the same weight. I knew that I needed to get my head into the right mindset. If you can do that, the rest should come easy. Perhaps not easy but definitely easier than tackling the mind. I talked to my family and got their support. I got my head in the game. I got a body fat monitor to record my progress. I even got an accountability coach that I would share what I was going to do and then had to report on what of it I had done and share the results with her. I got into action. I lost a couple of pounds...
And then I gained even more.
That's right. It was the end of March and I was even heavier than when I started this!
Now, it's not like I do not know how to lose weight- I do. I know how to slowly- and I know how to very quickly. I journal my food, I journal my activity. I have weighed and journaled my food for so long over the years that I accurately know what 6oz. of lean meat and 1 cup of brown rice look like. I know that at ~200lbs, a mile whether walked or ran is still about 140 calories burned. But something was going on.
My body needed to be cleansed. It was toxic.
After eating high sugars, processed foods, being exposed to pollutants in our everyday, it had taken a toll. The last time that I had success on my weight loss journey was with SuperNatural Energy Balls. Remember me going on and on about those fabulous choco balls? Those little beauties were jam PACKED with raw food goodness. They had my blood work looking GORGEOUS! My doctor was impressed. Sadly, they went out of business. I knew that I needed something like those choco balls to help me out.
I remembered all of the education that I had gotten two years ago about our bodies' chemistry and how it reacts to nutrients. That we needed to get out of a reactive state on a cellular level- our bodies are not getting the nutrients that they need. I had done raw juices and smoothies for awhile and they worked- but it wasn't very convenient. And with our family table time being sacred (we actually sit down at the dinner table together nearly every night), I didn't want something to interfere with that.
I needed structure, but nothing to rigid. I wanted highly nutritious food, but I wanted it to be incredibly convenient. I wanted to lose weight, but I wanted to feel good and have energy while I was doing it. I wanted to report back to my accountability partner that I actually started having desired results instead of finding yet another way for me not to lose any weight and still feel exhausted.
Then I saw my friend posting about Isagenix. Again. And having incredible results. Again. Then another acquaintance had mentioned it. And they had great results. So I checked out the ingredients (I'm very picky). And I was impressed.
Not liking network marketing and having nightmares about Amway and the like, I hesitantly placed my order- but I was at a point of desperation! Something has to give. I can't keep gaining weight. I ordered the 30 day basic program and my friend walked me through the contents. I began my program the very next day. That was March 28, 2013. Over the next 7 days, I started my day off with what I refer to as a super shot of a vitamin elixir, drank 2 shakes a day, took a supplement capsule twice a day, drank water throughout the day, had these little snack thingies that I thought would never curb my appetite but totally did, and then dinner with my family. I was taking in just a little fewer calories than when I was doing it on my own. I also did a deep cleanse for two days where I gave my system a break to let my liver do its thing. The results?
EIGHT POUNDS GONE!!!
And now I am an Independent Isagenix Associate. Yes, I still can't stand your typical network marketing blahbity blah companies; however, I love this product. My body loves this product. And I think that you will too. Whether you want to lose weight, get rid of toxins, have energy to get through your day, or just be on the top of your game, click on the image below. A 30 Day Program is a good place to start but if you have ANY questions, let me know.
Oh, and just so that you know, you won't be doing this alone. I will be doing it right along side of you and here to coach you along the way.
 We have all heard that age old adage "You snooze you lose". Too bad it isn't talking about losing this weight! I wish that I could say that this saying was going through my head as my alarm clock was telling me to get up and go to the gym but-- it wasn't. Actually, I was coming up with EVERY possible reason/excuse that I could possibly come up with that could justify me staying in bed.
Let's step back into the science classroom for a second here and take a look at Newton's Laws of Motion.
First law: If an object experiences no net force, then its velocity is constant: the object is either at rest (if its velocity is zero), or it moves in a straight line with constant speed (if its velocity is nonzero).
In other words, an object that is at rest will stay at rest unless an unbalanced force acts
upon it. And for those of you, like myself, that like examples, that means that my body was at rest and did not want to get up out of bed! A force greater than my body's desire to stay in bed was needed.
I laid there in bed for thirty minutes with all sorts of reasons why I should stay in bed. Then it hit me. I gave my word. And I have to start somewhere. So with that, I got my butt out of bed and put one foot in front of the other...and got to the gym.
When you snooze, you lose alright...another opportunity to create motion. Another opportunity for change. Another opportunity to make a difference.
Tomorrow the alarm will go off again. I will probably create other reasons why I should stay in bed. I will likely hit snooze. And I will still get up and head to the gym. I will be creating motion, momentum, inertia and then I get to enjoy the second part of Newton's first law:
An object that is in motion will not change its velocity unless an unbalanced force acts upon it. This is known as uniform motion.
 I have heard of and learned so much about positive thinking, Law of Attraction, visualization, prayer, NLP, and a host of other things having to do with our brains impacting the world around us. Some of them I think hold up like an over cooked rice noodle and others I can practically take to the bank everytime, but without being able to explain how it works. It just does. "But where do I start?" you might be thinking. Well, in the last post I talked about quieting that nasty voice in your head down long enough to begin listening to your heart; giving your heart a chance to express what desires lay there within. Make sure that it is something that is coming from your heart because creating things just for the sake of creating something isn't going to cut it. I can produce a widget but not have a care in the world for it. Dream big...listen for it. I guarantee something is in there. For me, I want to experience abundant health so that I may inspire and encourage others. That is a great mission but still a bit conceptual. We have to get to the specifics. I need to get on the road to abundant health before I can inspire and encourage others to do the same for themselves. I seriously doubt that many would be taking wellness advice from a woman at 200lbs and 39% body fat. Granted, they might if I had previously weighed 300lbs but that is not the case. I need to made progress towards wellness before I can get on to the real goal of encouraging others in their own wellness. That leads us to the brass tacks of it now- what are the desired numbers? What is my ideal body weight? What is my ideal lifestyle that I would like to live? I would like to be quite active. I would like to summit Rainier at some point as well as run a full marathon. I would also like to feel great in my clothes and not have then feel too tight when I sit and not have to worry about a muffin top. I want to have energy to have play present in my life. I want to feel good in my skin. I remember playing at the playground and swinging on the monkey bars. I want to do that again. Most importantly, I want to be ready for whatever God calls me to do. I would love to go to abroad again and support missionaries short term; however, I need to be able to take care of myself as well as be of value. In my current state of health, I could not be of much assistance trekking in Nepal to a remote village to go minister to people. Nor could I help much on a building project that required much physical labor. Now before you go finding reasons/excuses for why it would be ok to not contribute physical work, let me say this: Yes, you can have physical limitations but when the limitations are your own doing (ie being overweight) that is plain unethical. It kicks God in the face by saying, "You know that body that you gave me to do all kinds of awesomeness for you? Yeah, well about that. I rather sit here on my couch, do nothing (or very little) that contributes to my community, and eat a ton of processed foods instead of the food that you created for me to eat." First dream and pray, then know that dreaming and praying is just the start. We have to do our part too. We need to go and meet God. We have to show Him that we want this. Like the saying goes- shoot for the moon so that you land in the stars if you do miss. Have long term goals set but focus on the short term goal regularly. Here's a place for us to start: 1. Long term ultimate “ideal body” 2. One-year goals 3. Three-month goals 4. Weekly goals (weekly body composition test and weigh-in) 5. Daily goals (habits to develop, behaviors to do every day) 6. The goal of continually beating your personal best The ideal weight formula: To calculate your ideal bodyweight, you need to know your desired (target) body fat percentage, current weight, body fat percentage, and lean mass. You simply divide your current lean mass by your percentage of lean mass at your target (desired) body fat percentage. The formula is: Current Lean Mass (in pounds or kilos) 1 – Target Body Fat % Example: You are male Your weight: 194 pounds (88.2 kg) Your body fat: 18% Your fat weight: 34.9 pounds (15.9 kg) Your lean mass: 159.1 pounds (72.3 kg) (total weight minus fat weight) Your target body fat percentage: 12% (.12) Determine your percentage of lean mass at your target body fat by subtracting your desired body fat from 1: (1.0 - .12 = .88) Divide your current lean mass by 1 minus your percentage of lean mass at your target body fat percentage to yield your ideal weight: (159.1 pounds/.88 = 181 pounds (82.3 kg) Thus, your ideal weight at 12% body fat is 181 pounds (82.3 kg) So I came up with some numbers to start playing with. I am sure that they will change during this journey but you have to start somewhere. You know about analysis paralysis! I have a long way to go but at least I know where I am aiming for. DREAM BIG! My ideal weight is 147.5lbs with 20% body fat and 118lbs of lean body mass 3 month goal: lose 20lbs and decrease body fat by 6% ---- running 3+ miles while talking
1 month goal: lose 6.5lbs and decrease body fat by 2% ----running 1+ miles while talking
1 week goal: lose 1.5lbs ----30 minutes brisk walk while talking
Figure out what your goals are and write them down. Put your 1 week, 1 month, and 3 month goals on a note card and put that in your pocket so that it is with you everyday. Keep your eye on the target. Put reminders of who you are on the fridge, on the mirror, on your dashboard.
And above all else, be grateful for RIGHT NOW that you still have air in your lungs and fill the space around you with as much love as you possibly can! You still have today to do something about your health. This isn't going to be a cake walk. It's going to be hard work. So RIGHT NOW work hard and dream big. Every step, every meal, every bite, you have a chance to make a difference. I'm right here with you.
Speaking of Right Now- here is a post I did awhile back on it and that great Van Halen song as a bonus.
*Ideal weight formula credited to Tom Venuto of Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle
God, I know that I am responsible for my health. I am will to take the steps necessary to return to a fabulous state of health. I also know that I am going to have to lean on you to get me through some of this. Especially when I get distracted thinking about cake when I hear someone say that this isn't gonna be a cake walk.
 OK- so great. I restarted my blog. Now what?
I got to the point where I was willing to look fear in the eye and put together a blog post about being ready to start again. Trust me, it was very emotional her at the house as I made that choice. I was clear about the work that would need to be done and this would not be easy. But now what?
Well, honey, first things first. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD! That's a dangerous place! And IF you must venture in, DON'T GO THERE ALONE! Now I know that statement sounds funny but think about that for a second.... That voice that likes to reside in there is rude. And that's when its on its best behavior. If you have read any of the original posts from two years ago, you see how it can be ugly. Not to mention the profanity!
No matter what great goal you have, no matter what fabulous strategy you have formulated, and no matter who you have supporting you in this, if you don't silence that voice in there, you will not complete this journey.
Now when I say silence it, I don't mean make it no longer make any 'noise' somehow. That is impossible. Remember on the playground in elementary school? You remember that annoying kid or bully? No matter what you said to try and make them shut up, it only got worse and drove you mad. Your teachers told you to ignore it. "Don't let it bother you", they said. But it did bother you. Looking back though, you can see that they really had no power. And the same holds true with this voice.
It really isn't going to be shutting up so much; however, you get to choose not to listen. And if you were successful in getting that playground bully to leave you alone on the playground, I bet it was when you simply stopped letting it bug you. That kid would say whatever he was saying and went about your business anyhow. Eventually, you never heard a peep from him again. It was as though he was silenced.
So that is where we are going to start. Our first step is to stop listening to that voice.
You are incredible. You are enough. You are wonderfully made. You are strong. You can do this.
There is no room for the "Yeah, but....." in there. Shhhhh. Let your heart talk. Listen to what it has to say.
There may be some healing that needs to happen there but you'll never know what that is unless you stop listening to the voice and give your heart the mic.
Thank you God for giving me peace. I am at a place where I no longer have any anxiety in this area and I know that I can do anything while I look to you for my strength. Ain't no mountain high enough!
 Whether you know this pearl of wisdom pictured on the left from the Japanese proverb or from scripture found in Proverbs 24:16, and regardless if you've been knocked down, have fallen, or just got tired and sat down on your own... the point is to get back up. So here we are- two years after I originally started this blog. Some things couldn't be any more different while some things...are oh so familiar. Where have I been? Well, I have been working with my husband Drew in reconciling our marriage, rebuilding our family, and getting straight about our faith and our purpose in life. It has been incredible. It has been surreal. It has been frightening as ever. It has been...life changing. It has also had my weight return to the very same starting point as two years ago. I sit here about to write and again I feel that same fear welling up inside of me. But now, I have to face the fact of the matter that I had lost 30lbs then... and have gained every single pound back. Some would say that it was a failure- and in regards to the weight loss, they would be correct. I say that it has given me an opportunity. An opportunity to do it with a little (a lot) of help from above and with my husband as my partner. I'll be sharing more about how the reconciliation came about, and how we did it, at a later time. Right now, it is just important that I take this step. This first step...again. Looking fear square in the eye and saying, "Not today. Not today you don't." Over the past couple of years, I have seen more and more that I truly show up when it isn't about me. See, I made my challenge with my weight and sugar issues my issue and mine alone. But this time, I am being called to do it for a difference reason. Yes, I am to attain a healthy lifestyle and experience abundant health- but only so that I can inspire, encourage, and support others in the same. So I am asking you to join me. Whether it is weight issues, an addiction, a desire deep in your being that you have been holding on to for so long but fear has its grip on you, join in and come nose to nose with fear. Don't worry. You're not alone. We're going through this together. What is important is that you take that first step. Right here. Right now. Look it square in the eye and say aloud, "Not today, Fear. Not today you don't." Thank you God for showing me all that you have over the past two years. I could not have achieved what I am about to without it. I'm ready. You rock my socks.
 Ok- so you have been dropping a few pounds and now your clothes aren’t fitting quite the way they were meant to. Notice how much longer your pants are getting? Yeah, that would be because of the rise of them no longer being as filled out any longer and the seat is sagging a bit. Now on one hand, you wear these clothes like a shiny gold, ok maybe silver, medal. It is the “Hey look! I am losing weight!” medal that we wear. Though our emerging bodies aren’t being exactly showcased, we get such a thrill to see others noticing. But that has to stop at some point…
Like many of you, my current weight is only a stop along the journey as I fully emerge from the layering and release the weight. I have half of a closet of clothes that are now too big- and half of a closet of clothes that I cannot fit into yet. Maybe your closet is just all too big, or all too small; but it still remains that our clothes just aren’t fitting right now. So what are we to do? Replacing a wardrobe is pretty expensive- especially since we are committed to only being at that size for a hot second anyhow. We could add a few strategic pieces to hold us over for a bit but even that still can get spendy. Or, we could go to a clothing swap!
A few weeks ago, I invited a few girlfriends over for an afternoon of fabulous girly proportions. It was light bites, a pretty glass of bubbly, and clothes everywhere! We had transformed my dining room table into a mini boutique and were totally enjoying our private shopping spree. There were towers of jeans, piles of tops, an array of belts and earrings, and even some shoes! Despite the various sizes and heights, everyone left with some really great pieces after getting to spend the afternoon together. And you know what it cost? MUCH less than what we would have paid for 5-10 new pieces!
The best of the day though was having both a sense of abundance AND of being a contribution. See, as women, both are equally important. We thrive in a sense of community. Which is why I am SO happy to be helping produce Swapping Spree with Tannya Bernadette in Seattle on August 31st? It will be a night with your girlfriends at a great venue, AMAZING raffle prizes, hair and makeup touch ups and tips, massage, swag bags, a couple of photographers on site, contributing to a non-profit, and even VIP treatment if you want it- for a little as $25!!!!
Yes ladies, this is your reward for the work that you have done in getting rid of those pounds. Savor it!
Can't wait to see you at the swapping spree- You are doing great!
The human body amazes me- I mean truly- it simply amazes me. It has so many ways to protect itself and compensates for whatever we throw its way. I was just going through my Facebook updates- which has replaced my daily morning news- and I came across a new blog post over at SuperNatural Energy Balls that was talking about a theory that I have been delving in a bit with and researching the science and opinions of : Set Point Theory. Definition: Set point theory is a theory that the body maintains its normal weight and body fat level with internal regulatory controls that dictate how much fat one has. According to the set point theory, some individuals have a high setting, meaning they tend to have a naturally higher weight as a set point, and others have a low set point, and therefore a naturally lower body weight. The set point theory suggests that despite dieting efforts, the body tends to return to its set point weight, however regular, consistent exercise may help to adjust the natural set point. So when I see the title of the post and I HAD to check it out. Spend a couple of minutes and see how Beasty can take over even the people with out any food issues what so ever! Round 1: Sadee battles Beasty and Beasty wins! Or: How to validate set-point theory the hard way
For many years I have had reproductive issues. I am sure that most western health care providers would disagree, I believe that they stemmed from emotional baggage that I carried around for many, many years from physical events.
Endometriosis, poly cystic ovarian syndrome, uterine fibroids, heavy/excessive bleeding, fibro-cystic breast tissue, oh yeah- it's been interesting. It has caused issues during my first pregnancy, more than fifteen years ago. I had several laporoscopies to laser lesions, biopsies of this area, biopsies of that area. Redo the biopsy as it was inconclusive. Try this drug, try that therapy, you gotta lose some weight. Conceive, gain weight, miscarry. Repeat. A few times.
No one ever asked about my history though- yanno, like sexual assault of any kind. Any reason why I would think that I was less than, on a sub-conscious level, in regards to my reproductive system and being a woman.
Once again, my system started reeking havoc. This time, it was excessive bleeding to the point of being anemic and borderline hemorrhaging. Excessive lining and fibroids were the culprits this time. The biopsy came back inconclusive as we needed to rule out Cancer.
See, that C word had several targets for me: ovarian, uterine, endometrial, cervical, and breast. Every time I had another biopsy, I understood that I was dodging bullets.
So when the biopsy needed to be done again, we needed to rule out pre-cancer cells as there were precursors present. We got it back- another bullet dodged. Not ready to go through a hysterectomy, we would go ahead with a procedure that would destroy the lining of my uterus.
Knowing that I needed to get closure on these things from my past, I spent time with myself and these memories. I forgave those involved as well as myself and my destructive behavior that followed suit. I made new promises to myself around self respect and self worth as well as what types of foods that eat to support me.
So this past Wednesday, I went in for an endometrial ablation. The procedure itself went well. Unfortunately, my meds wore off too soon and sent my body into a bit of a state of shock. As soon as I was in communication with my doctor, he had me taken to the ER and made sure that I was well taken care of. After Vicodin, Percocet, and several doses of Dilaudid, the pain was under control, the vomiting had stopped. I was sent home to get some rest. Now the healing begins.
So what kind of changes are in store? Well, for one, is the biggest one that I can change: my food. I am committed to more than 51% of each meal being raw vegan. This does not mean that I am giving up meat or animal products. Just making sure that I have nutrients onboard to support my health.
The next is exercising more. Really, for the simple fact that I can. Coming from a place of gratitude you get more of what you are grateful for. I am grateful that I have my health so that I can get up and move around and do things- so I better move it!
Another is really taking a look at the relationships that I engage in. I am worthy of love that transcends the physical and if that isn't present, no giving up the physical. Oh, and No Crazy Makers allowed. Period.
Our bodies are our god pods- take care of them. Respect them. See, when you enter sacred ground, you don't bring in a Big Mac or all the self destructive behavior that you carry around. You are that sacred ground. Take care of it.
***Thank you to my friends who kept me in their thoughts this week. Vic- thank you for being my driver and not giving me too much grief in my Valium state. Drew- thank you being there through some of the roughest parts Wednesday night.
Here's to remaining cancer free and honoring ourselves!
There are many reasons why we put on weight: quality of food, calorie intake, inactivity, health issues, emotional issues, or any other thing that you can come up with. Typically, it is a combination of these things that actually causes us to add on pound after pound and it causes great frustration when we try to take the weight off. See, we try only one or two ways to get it off- like calorie restriction or exercise. And while yes, these these are important, if you have been struggling with your weight for years, and they are not actually the culprit, you will spend many frustrated weeks, months, years, attempting to get the weight off this way. We need to get to the why of your weight gain- honestly this time! Since there have been books written on each of these subject, I am only giving you the quick down and dirty of it so that you can get going. Over at SuperNatural Energy Balls, Sadee Whip has a great ebook free to download as well as some great educational videos on the science of your body- swing over there for a visit and tell her Angie says hi ;) Before we even talk about calories or exercise, it is important to look at the QUALITY of food that we are taking in. The goal is to get the freshest, most gorgeous food, closest to it's pure form that we can possibly get. That means very little processed foods, the least damaged, not brought half way from around the world and has been sitting on a boat for months. Of course, grapes from Chile is a much better choice that the box of macaroni and cheese! Your body will keep every stinking calorie you give it if you have only been feeding it the equivalent of salted cardboard and wall paper paste. Stop for a minute and get REAL about why you started putting on the weight to begin with. Take a look at the amount of calories that you take in and the portions that you are really eating. This number should NEVER fall below 1200 calories- ever.No eating past an average of 7pm. This is depending on when you go to sleep and when you get up. You need time to eliminate everything from your stomach and system. And if you ate that steak dinner with potato and desert finishing about 9pm, though you have fallen into a food coma, you are not getting quality sleep because your body is working hard to digest that immense amount of food! No quality rest there my friend. A doctor friend of mine from Southern California calls the habit of eating past 6pm The Sumo Diet. He suggests to eat small plates, appetizer sized meals, for dinner. Next, take a look at your activity level. This one is a little tricky. After years of being sedentary, this may be a habit that we need to change and old habits die hard. Stick with me and at the end I will share a habit secret! If you sit behind a desk all day, know that this is not what our bodies were intended for. make sure that you are doing something to really make your body work. Sure, weights in a gym could work but try some old favs too: Volleyball, kickball, hiking with an incline, kayaking. Variety, Baby! It's the spice of life, right? Health issues. While I have several friends that are doctors in various fields, I am no doctor. You know your body. If you have issues, be responsible for them- NOW. If you are diabetic, pre-diabetic, have it in your family, put down the damn sugar already. If you have back issues, you likely have other issues in your body that are correlated to whichever vertebrae that corresponds with it. Get your self checked out. Hint: if you start cleaning up your food intake, your health issues start to go away. ALL of my health issues were further magnified by my increased weight. Emotional issues. Negative self talk, STOP IT. Right here. Right now. Get that you are an amazing human being and you have so much to add to this world. Work on whatever you need to to get complete around it. For more than a year, I didn't lose a single pound because I hadn't addressed anything emotionally. Because my relationship was lacking, I would find decadence in food and had become an emotional eater in order to feel fulfilled and that would just start a downward spiral because now I felt bad because I was gaining even more weight. I was very suppressed in my self expression and didn't even realize just how much. Don't go to sleep with your best music still in you. Sing it, Baby!Habit buster: to tackle a mountain, we take one step at a time. Leo over at Zen Habits shared with me this little trick... Start a new habit by doing it for only five minutes a day. Even if you can easily do more- only do five minutes. To start a new habit, it needs to be something that you can do with no problem. As soon as it becomes a problem, we are likely to stop. Remember that no matter how you have been eating for years, your body is constantly regenerating. Your organs are regenerating even as we speak. In seven years, your ENTIRE body will have regenerated itself. You can do this. It is never too late and you are never stuck with anything. And if you need anything, I am right here with you. You are not alone in this. Love and light,Angie
184 I haven't seen that number on my scale in nearly five years. That is seven pounds down since starting back with SNEB two weeks ago. An average of 3.5lbs down a week surely doesn't suck.
And after having my jeans sagging in the arse, I finally gave in and bought a couple of jeans at the thrift store yesterday. I figured that I am not going to truly invest in any new clothes until I get to my happy weight. While 184 does make me happy, I want another twenty five and then reassess.
Wow- I am still amazed at that number. I am thinking about all of those hours that I spent in grueling workouts and counting calories and planning my meals only to have NO RESULTS for years. I knew that if I just kept trying things that I would come across the thing that would work for me. Now to up the approach...
Next week I go back to working out. Nothing crazy yet- just adding some cardio and weights. In the past, I tended to put on muscle fast so we will see. I will need to keep better track of measurements for this one since I will be playing with muscle mass.
And the tag in the jeans...14. Time to get rid of the 18s and 16s that I vow to never wear again. Time for a CLOTHING SWAP!
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