As business owners, we face a tremendous amount of concern, worry, risk
, and it all boils down to fear. Folks sometimes see us as being fearless, big risk takers, or even sometimes reckless. Lord knows that I have been described as those several times. Please know that we do feel fear. We do get restless and wonder "Will this work?"- especially when there aren't any back up plans. And sometimes, the lack of backup plans is the catalyst for us having the perspective that "It's just got to work!".Just like every other human being on this planet, I experience fear
. Over the years I have found ways to manage it so that it doesn't manage me; however, there are still things in this worked that scares me to death. If you have followed I'm Not Weighting Anymore
, then you know that I had to deal with a great deal of fear about facing my weight for the first time
in a public forum. For most of us, a huge amount of our fears are all wrapped up inside of The Fear of Looking Bad.So last night I was awaken by my lil guy who had an accident in the middle of the night. After I got him cleaned up and back into warm jammies,
I slid back into bed with my mind suddenly racing, churning, rolling, tugging and pulling this way and that. All that was on my mind was "How am I going to do this?". Back story: My husband and I are separating and the kids and I are moving out. No drama involved and what drama is there is at a minimum at best. I have only recently jettisoned my good corporate job
and my current income can not sustain us. I am going to have to be manifesting like a mo' fo'.Fast forward back this morning at 2:30am . It looked a little something like this -->
What am I doing? How stupid am I? I mean, there isn't even a back up plan in place, Ang. Maybe I can do this, maybe I can do that. Stop it. You are coming from a place of scarcity and nothing good come from that. But what if no one likes it or buys it? What if I don't put food on the table? What if, what if, what if?What if I don't? Then I don't. But what if I do? I remembered Dyana Valentine's video about surviving. I remind myself about what I say about failure and instead of asking what if I fail, what if I don't.When we are in this space, it is crucial that we find love for ourselves. We need to allow ourselves grace to make a few mistakes and give ourselves permission in many areas. Danielle LaPorte just published this today and it was just what I needed (funny, that was also the case with Dyana'a video). It will be ok that my lil guy sleeps with me until I get him his own bed.
It is perfect that we will be eating on paper plates for a bit until I get a new set. And it is even alright that I don't have a plan cemented for revenue streams at this very moment. On any given day, in any given moment, something could happen that opens up for you an entirely new path. Be still, be alert, be ready. ~Marianne Williamson
When I spoke of my fear to Mama Gena
today, she asked me "What do you DESIRE?" I answered that I desire for my business to THRIVE. See, when I win, you win. And when you win, I win. It stimulates a thriving community that is brought on by full self expression.I do hope that whatever fears that you may have that don't make yourself wrong for having them. You are human. And as a human being, your sole purpose here on Earth is to love. Period. So get busy loving yourself and allowing yourself some grace.
I'm gonna start looking at how I can express my love for my community through my work and make our world a better place.Danielle, Dyana, Marianne, and Mama, thank you for unknowingly guiding me.
Being Your Sexy Self
· Handle your inner critic. She’s useful, just not when she causes you stress. Find out how she sabotages you and how she can be your best advocate; if you know how to handle her!
· Get clear on what you really want. What is underneath it all that you might be afraid to voice or even acknowledge? Until you know what you really want and can own it, you will waste energy, time, and resources. Getting a handle on your true desires is the only way you can have the life of your dreams.
· Handle your boundaries! How often has not saying “no” or not saying “yes” caused you pain or missed opportunity or wasted your energy? Getting clear on boundaries is an essential part of Handlin Yo Bidness. You know your sexy self knows what she wants. Learn how to be that clear all the time, with everyone, and reap the benefits in all areas of your life.
· It’s not enough to say what you want – you gotta walk the talk honey. To do so, you need a system of handling yo bidness that works for you. We’re talking un-corporate time management. Learn an easy-to-use system that will make living your dreams fun, flowy, and positive – stop working so hard and work smart! That’s handlin yo bidness!
Who it’s for:
This workshop series is for smart, sexy, strong women who want to have those qualities show up in every area of their lives. You want to experience living in that sweet spot when you feel amazingly sexy.
Week 1 – Wednesday March 16
Make Your Inner Critic Your Champion – get her to work for you, not against you. She’s not going anywhere so we’ll be learning how to change the flavor of her voice and really listen to who is talking in there.
Week 2 – Wednesday March 23
Tell Me Whatchu Want, Whatchu Really Really Want
Get clear about what you really want and state it out loud. Words have power. Through a series of exercise/one-on-one dialogue/writing activity in a creative space, you will get clear about what’s deep-down real for you and have those chosen words live in reality.
Week 3 – Wednesday March 30
Boundaries: Use 'Em or Lose 'Em – finally claim your boundaries – not just the “no” but the “yes”! What do you want to say yes to? What have you out-grown? Week 4 – Wednesday April 6
Walkin’ the Talk You’ll swear that we’ve learned ways to magically add hours in the day and that there is FINALLY enough time in the day to do those things that you want to do!
What’s in it for you other than a dedicated night out with the girls, wine, snacks, and missed rush hour? When you finish this series you will have the tools to re-center your sexy self when life hands you situations that you feel less than sexy in. You will accomplish actually sitting down long enough to claim what excites you in life instead of waiting to have the time to do so. You will start doing those things that you desire to do.
So bring your sexy self and join me!
What Being Your Sexy Self – Handlin Yo Bidness!
When Wednesday evenings 6p-8pm starting March 16 and concluding April 6 We start at 6. So plan to arrive at 5:45 at the latest. Us girls need our time to get settled!
Where Hengst Studios 1506 Franklin Avenue East, Seattle, WA 98012 What better place to create yourself than a sensual working artist’s studio?
Cost $99 for the series- Each session builds on the last so you won't want to miss any!
Are you ready?
Register here you sexy thang, you!
~ No need to bring anything to the workshops- I'll have you covered, including wine, snacks, and materials.
~5% of your fee will be donated to Women for Women International
Courtesy of Glassy Baby
Last night I was talking to a friend about the flirtatiousness of being in business: the leaning into it, do I want them, do they want me, the contact, the thrill of anticipation. Last month I wrote a short piece about this very thing- you can check it out here
And, within seconds, I felt the rush of passion. You know the one that starts deep within, as I spoke more about it. The sensation that I got just thinking about the excitement of the chase, and the fulfillment of being desired. The heightened frenzy that is present when you are in that creative mode, and not having a defined road map, but just knowing that you are headed for Nirvana.
And then I got present to the fact that there I was sitting in a car with a gorgeous human being, but it was the love of business and just how damn sexy it is that was getting me going. Even now, just thinking about how I can lose my inhibitions and fully step into what's possible blows me away.
Apparently, I am not alone in feeling this way. I am not the only one who takes on business as a lover of sort. The fabulous Mr. Jonathon Fields wrote a poem for our shared love.A Love Poem for Entrepreneurs
If you have lost that loving feeling for your business, check to see if you are with holding from it. Take it on the way that you would a love interest and see what sparks.
I am yours. Will you be mine?
I am hearing everyone pitching "How to Overcome Your Fears" or "Conquer the Unknown" and a host of other self-help titles around fear. Here's the thing (I'm going piss off some folks in my field with this) You can not make fear disappear. And, the likelihood of you going at it alone and making that fear your bitch it damn hard- at best.
To add insult to injury, when you check these folks out who want you to shell out a shit ton of cash for their 12 Steps to Fearless Freedom, it turns out to be the slimy guy that you saw last weekend at the car dealership. Or they are the wife living in California who has always lived in the land of Suburbia and hasn't lived much of life or even gets what living really is anyhow.
Short and sweet- the fear is not going anywhere. Deal with it. You can quiver in the corner and go on to some pity party but that is not going to get you anywhere. You want to achieve something but you are scared? Suck it up. You're afraid of looking dumb? Well, you might. And you may still end up doing amazing shit while being absofuckinglutely brilliant, but looking dumb, in the process.
Here's the deal: Our world is in a heap of trouble. Whether your sights are on your hyperlocal community, your hometown, national education issues, The Detroit Renaissance, Haiti, Egypt, or where ever, things are not going to shift by all of us getting stopped by our fear. Your fear is not going anywhere. So fuque it. You can go and do what you need to do and come back to handle it later.
Oh wait. You mean, after you stopped letting it stop you then it headed for the hills by the time that you come back for it? Look again. The fear is still there. It is just choosing to go by a different name. Or it could be the same name but is now in a different area of your life. See- it's not going anywhere. And those of us that move around in life as though fear is never present? Oh it's there alright. We just say "Fear? Fuque it!" because we have other things to do.
*As I write this my life is turning upside down and is filled to the gills with uncertainty. I am relocating after my husband and I have chosen to separate, my teenager is beyond pissed at the thought of changing schools, and I am in the position of make it or break it with my business. Every time that I have needed to deal with my fears, I have just done whatever there was to do. So here it is again- scared as hell and looking for what there is to do to have a life and business that I am head over heels, completely mad about! And you bet your sweet ass I have a coach- I don't have time to get stopped.
Sneak Peak: Handle Yo Bidness
Handle Yo Bidness is a series of four workshops that are live and in person. No teleseminars, no webcasts. They are intimate conversations that are real.
1. Make Your Inner Bitch Your Bitch*- You don't have to listen to her anymore when she tells you that you suck and you are going to fail anyhow. *not limited to women.
2. Tell Me Whatchu Want, Whatchu Really Really Want- No more "I don't know" Know what you ACTUALLY want to be/feel/have
3. Boundaries: Use 'Em or Lose 'Em- Getting clear about what you are willing to do and what you will tolerate
4. Put Up or Shut Up- Finding that illusive time for what you actually care about. The Un-Corporate version of time management.
The series will be rolling out in the Seattle Metro area in the very near future. Not in Seattle? Don't worry- working on a travel edition of it. Sign up below if you would like more information sent to you when the venue and dates are available or if you have other questions.
I know, I know. We have heard this time and time again. And, one thing that I know to be true- is that knowing makes no difference. So let me clear, I am not telling you this thinking that you have never heard it before. I am telling you this because I want to remind you of it and then have you play with it in your life.
This very moment, this one right here, is the only one that we know that we have for sure. It reminds me of the Crystal Pepsi commercial from 1993. You know, the one that Van Halen ( circa Sammy) did for them. "Right now, there's no tomorrow. Right now, it means everything...". The video is at the bottom of this post and is pretty cool to watch to actually. But I digress...
We don’t know what will happen later this year, or hell, later this evening in some
cases. Why would we not choose to be content with, or even go for broke and be blissed out with, whatever we are doing at this moment? I mean, we do get
to choose after all.
You have right now to make an impression on someone. You have right now to make a difference in someone’s life. The great thing is you get to be in control, for the most part, as to what difference that you get to make.
For you overachievers out there- if you want to go beyond just this, this
is a great question to take on for your life work. You are natural leaders and leaders are those who create opportunities for others. What opportunity do you want to create for others in the world? Hmmm…perhaps a career change may spark out of
But it's when you are pissed off and feeling like crap about something that you are least to remember that right? Well, grab a notecard and write on it whatever it is that you are committed to and put it in your pocket. Break it out and take a look at it from time to time throughout the day- then choose your actions that are in alignment with that. THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN YOU DON’T DO THIS- don’t beat yourself up over it. I know that you want something different, or more of something in your life or business. Creating it is creating a habit. Take a look at this...habits are hard to break. We know this. If you have been sitting on your ass about an idea, the habit of sitting on your ass exists and it is going to be a bitch to break it.
*Note- To make it last, you have to get some consistent time in the saddle.
Nevertheless…Breathe…Let go…Now remind yourself that this very moment is the only one that you know you have for sure. Go be your best! Like, NOW!
Nearly 10 years ago now, I did a weekly How 2 home improvement segment with a local news station in Detroit for Home Depot. Some of you may remember it. As it was live TV- and when it is live all sorts of things can go wrong- it was up to me to recover quickly from whatever mishaps occurred during the airing. It was up to me to empower home owners to do it for themselves. It was a ton of fun- and a ton of work.
After a stint of being a corporate whore, and now working with fab fab entrepreneurs, I have a deep appreciation of the DIYer that resides in all of us doin' our own thang.
Watch this short film and see just how much you see you self in it. In the comment section below, share what YOU do yourself in the world and what you are up to. You never know who is reading. Come on- do it yourself!