No, I am not talking about giving the HR department something to come talk to you about.  I am talking about what would it look like to flirt with your business goals and objectives, potential clients, and even collaborators.

Mary Boiselle from Seattle's Ace of Dates recently wrote an article on flirting do's and don'ts and as I read it I couldn't help but to think about how much fun it is to flirt with life.  The I wondered what that would look like if we flirting in our businesses...hmmmm- sounds fun, right?!

In flirting with someone, we all know to catch their eye.  Mary suggests to connect your eyes with someone and if they hold eye contact that they are interested- this holds true for your business affairs as well.  I'm not saying that we should attract our next client by locking and holding a smoldering look for them across the conference room, but instead make sure that when you are in a meeting with someone (even if just coffee), make sure that they know that you are interested by maintaining eye contact.  If it is a project or idea this will be a bit conceptual.  Try looking at the project and imagine it looking right back at you with all that it is and all that it is not...hold that gaze...are you still interested?

Now lean in- get closer to them.  I couldn't have said it any better "Lean in toward the object of your desire".  In our businesses, we get that everything is personal.  By leaning in, we make it even more so.   If leaning into an idea, you get to check it out a bit before jumping in.  Gazing at it... checking it out... do I wanna?  I mean, I know that I could.  It could be fun.  I wonder where this could go.

We all know when a smile is real or not.  When there are smiles at the meeting table- and not those "It's been great having this opportunity to speak with you" but thinking "Damn, I gotta get out of here" smiles, you know that you are headed in the right direction. 

And if you are smiling even after leaning into that business idea and googling at each other- GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL, BABY!  Have some fun and give the world something to talk about.

Pay attention to Mary's Flirting Don'ts- they can destroy whatever possibility that was there for that business opportunity despite whatever intentions that you may have.

*Note- if in doubt, try Integrity.  

Mary Boiselle is the founder of The Ace of Dates located in Seattle, WA.  The Ace of Dates supports you in carrying out any date to perfection – whether an ordinary Tuesday night, or a big anniversary or event. 

 I don't have the time to do the things that I really enjoy.

The Bullshit Flag has been thrown on the play.  Repeat, a BS flag has been thrown. 
I recently shared this with the courageous folks who have signed up for my 30 day Commitment to Living Your Best Life and I have been hearing about some great things opening up for them as a result of this perspective so I figured that I would share a bit of with you too.

But seriously, I can't get it all done.

After reviewing the play, the penalty still stands:  You have the same 24 hours that everyone else does. What is different is how you choose to spend your time.  Sit down for a few minutes and figure out what is REALLY important.  Not what someone else says is important but what YOU say is important.  You are the one to say because it is your life that you are living Doll Face.  They don’t get to say because they are not living your life.  So stop the front and finally get clear on what is important to you.  Then you take action in those areas and say no to the rest.

*I don’t know is not an allowable answer to “What is important to me?”.  Instead use- I’ll figure it out and then go do that.  MUCH more empowering context ;-)

 

Overwhelming feeling of being overwhelmed!  The more that we take on, it seems that the more that we get overwhelmed.  And then that feeling keeps us from wanting to expand anything because we are already overwhelmed with what we have- but damn, I want something else;  Something more.  So just how do we keep that feeling at bay?  Obviously we need to tame that monster because we currently have isn’t cutting it, or it is but we want to expand it.

One of the BIGGEST culprits of overwhelm is actually us cutting corners and not doing complete work.  We have tid bits of incompleteness all over the place that adds up to a whole lotta TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE.  We need to develop a habit of finishing what we start and work on it DAILY.

Take incomplete work and add it to doing things that aren't even important to us to begin with and we have a life or business that we resent- no thanks.

“Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”  Oprah Winfrey

And we want to be ready for that next moment as opportunity, a new client, or a whole lotta fun to be had could be in that next moment!

Note-  focus focus focus and ask “Did I completely complete this task?”  It’s all about integrity after all.

e·piph·a·ny   [ih-pif-uh-nee]

–noun,plural-nies.

1. (initial capital letter) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.

2.  an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity.

3.  sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

4.  a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

Well here it is Epiphany- the 12th Day of Christmas- January 6th.  We have likely packed away the decorations, are well into the New Year, and have now had our own epiphany that our Resolutions were a bit lofty no matter how great they sounded a week ago. 

Only one thing though:  you still want those resolutions to actualize- But how? 

Note:  This article is written from a business perspective but look to see where it fits all other areas of your life.

First- go get that list of all the stuff that you wanted to do this year--->

Now let’s look to balance some of this out.  While you are pretty darn effective at time management, you still only have the same 24 hours in a day that the rest of us have.  So here is my epiphany this morning. 

First thing first:  Learn to say NO.  We want to be a Yes to things in life.  Yes to expansion, yes to increasing our bottom line, yes to making every client feel important, yes to empowering our employees, and yes to actually liking- no, adoring- our business.  But we need to say no to a few things to be able to be a yes.  Seriously- say it a few times out loud right now.  No.  Nooo.  NO.  Kinda feels good, huh?

No to constant social media outlets.  These are probably the biggest time vampires of them all.  You click on Twitter or Facebook and next thing you know all of your vital time has been sucked dry.  Email can be just as deadly.  Since I know that, I need to be smart about this as I am committed to a bigger game.  Instead of checking in on the vamps all day here is how to have them work for you.  Sure go ahead and start your day off light and check your social media accounts.  I have learned that my love/hate relationship with Twitter can be more harmonious if I only check my Mentions, Retweets, and Messages.  It gives me a bit of insight as how I land in my community.  A very quick glance at what folks are talking about and then I am outta there.  Creating lists of people help also.  That way if I only want to see posts from interactive users, or inspirational tweeters, I can see them with one click and not get stuck down the rabbit hole two hours later.  After that, CLOSE THE BROWSER TAB.  If you need to go back to post a link to your new blog post, then open a new one but do not leave that tab open all day.  Pretty much the same for Facebook- hop on hop off and close the tab.  PERIOD. 

No to having immediate response to every email in your Inbox.  Check your email in the morning and use it to see which fires are burning the hottest.  Sure you may wake up to an insane amount of emails but not all of them illicit an immediate response.  Tend to what needs tending to right now and then break from it for the rest of the morning to work on that new initiative.  Repeat after lunch.

No to those really cool and shiny things that always distracts us.  Get clear as to what you are committed to this year and stay focused.  That’s it for this one- nothing else to distract you from this point.  Eye on the prize.

No to eating lunch by yourself more times than not during the week.  Believe it or not you are likely to be more productive after meeting someone for lunch outside of your normal work place.  This could look like meeting a colleague, a friend, or even your mom.  Just make sure that it is another human being that you can have a conversation with.  Even if the conversation has nothing to do with your business, it can open up a new perspective to an issue that you face.

No to every meeting request that comes across your Inbox.   As in, you do not have to be a Yes to every single request.  They requested and you have choice.  If you know that it is for a project that you are not committed to, just say no.  While we are talking about meetings, this is a good time to take a look at your current meeting schedule and check in to see if they are actually supporting what you are up to or hindering you by taking up that precious resource of time.

No to being the one to do everything.  A great way to grow is to hire someone.  If finances are tight, be creative and open to hiring options.  Perhaps it is an intern, perhaps someone not looking for a ‘job’ but some way to contribute to their community, or perhaps as part of a mentoring program.  Bringing someone on grows your business by having someone else in your business to discuss it with you.  It allows for more things to get checked off of that goal sheet with more velocity (and velocity rocks just in case you didn’t know).  It also grows our community by you training and developing someone if taking in an entry level or intern.  Of course, hiring someone helps to grow our economy.  And the best part is that it frees us up to do other things.  *Being a leader means creating opportunities for others.

No to giving up on what you and your business yearn for.  This is different from those things that would be nice.  You know which ones that I am talking about.  When you get stopped in getting what you really want, look for another way.  If you can’t see any possible way to get it and yet you still yearn for it, call someone and start a conversation.  After all, anything is possible!